Ask Haylee!
Ask Haylee is a forum created for the enjoyment of teenage girls, in the hope that the content will be a source of inspiration to you.
Some of what you find here is fun, light-hearted and pretty, while other posts are heavier and more serious - a definite reflection of the emotional capacity of females generally.
Ask Haylee covers a range of important issues, and will hopefully get you thinking about what it is to be a young woman in today's society.
Questions are most welcome, even tricky ones.
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For a society that tells women in order to be beautiful we have to be tanned, plucked, waxed, sucked, and primped, we sure do love making fun of gals who live up to that ideal! While the male model of rugged manly roughness is rarely mocked (hell, we put him on Brawny paper towels!), women who meet the feminine ideal are most often made fun of, called stupid and shallow, and dismissed as vain. It seems there’s no winning for pretty girls, either! It’s something similar to the celeb-hate we love so much, but worse-because we do it to each other every day as well. Be honest-how often do we see a woman with a fake tan, or dyed hair, or obvious plastic surgery, and judge her-even just a little? Don’t feel too bad; we’re trained to do as much. We’re supposed to simultaneously want to be that woman-and want to destroy her. (And maybe hate ourselves for wanting to be her.) It’s all sorts of fucked up. But it drives the competitive spirit that keeps women buying more products, more surgeries, more everything. A lot of people are depending on our judging and hating each other!Jessica Valenti, He’s a Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know. (via crystalsavestheday)
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I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn’t be a staring contest.Frank Sinatra
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It was frankly sort of confusing, the way everyone stared at our bodies exactly as they tried to erase the ideas of our bodies from our minds. We were supposed to get over ourselves but no one was supposed to get over us. The female body was our worst handicap and our best advantage — the surest means to success, the surest course to failure.Hilary Thayer Hamann
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Curvy women are real women. Skinny women are real women. Women who have had boob jobs or lip enhancements or liposuction are still real women. Size 0 may make no sense mathematically, but a woman who wears that size is as real as the one who wears a size 16. What makes us “real” people is not the shape of our flesh but our basic humanity. And we lose our humanity when we judge – not when we lose weight, gain weight, or make the intensely personal decision to undergo cosmetic surgery.Hugo Schwyzer
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Photo reblogged from Feminist Blackboard
Today I lived through one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life thus far.
I live down the street from a small park, and I decided that it was nice enough to take a jog down there. The park is usually desolate, so I figured I would be alone.
I was dressed in board shorts and a t-shirt. Nothing necessarily girly. Also, as seen above, my hair is pretty short. Most would say that I look like a boy.
When I finally made my way to the park, there were a few boys there messing around. I didn’t really think anything of them being there, so I continued with my jog and began to approach them, seeing as they were sitting right by the path I was on.
I was finally close enough to talk to them, but instead of just ignoring me, two of them began to jog in front of me. They eventually slowed down their pace and were basically jogging right next to me. I had my iPod in and I wasn’t listening to anything they were saying, because I figured they weren’t saying anything worth listening to.
After about twenty paces with the two of them on each side of myself, one of them did something I never expected: he pulled his arm back and completely clocked me in the face with his elbow. After he hit me, his friend looked at me and said “Have a nice day, dyke.”
I immediately stopped walking because I could feel the blood gushing down my face and I ran back home. I haven’t stopped crying since.
The only reason why I took a picture of this and the only reason why I’m posting it on my blog is because I want people to know that these things actually happen. I haven’t even cleaned my face off yet. This is more important I have been a victim of bullying for quite some time now (ever since I cut my hair off) and today was the first time I’ve ever experienced the physical aspect of it. I have never felt so horrible about myself as I do right now.
So please, followers, if you see ANYBODY getting bullied (not just your friends or family) help them out…because I can guarentee that if I had somebody by my side when this happened, I would feel a lot better.
Today I got clocked in the face and injured because of the way I look. What a world we live in.
This is appalling. Once again, an example of people acting shamefully through fear, ignorance and insecurity - it makes me sick! This poor girl.
H x
(Source: rchlbrry)
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Who is this angel? You may ask. Well, I’m so happy to say she is one of the biggest up-and-comers of the modelling world.
Robyn Lawley is the plus-sized model gracing the pages of this month’s Vogue Australia and the cover of last month’s Vogue Italia! This size 14 - 16 beauty is turning heads the world over. At only 22 years of age, Lawley is breaking down the size 6 stereotypes of the industry and paving the way for stunning women of all shapes and sizes to follow in her footsteps.
Kirstie Clements, Editor of Vogue Australia, had this to say about her choice to feature Lawley in this months issue;
This is the first time VogueAustralia has shot a larger model and, of course, now that we have done it, I ask myself why we didn’t do it sooner. But that’s because Robyn is especially gorgeous. I went to the shoot to meet her and was transfixed by her beauty and poise. She is a truly super-duper model. When a plus-size model first turns up to the studio, she may be an anomaly to a team normally used to working with size-6’s, but once photographer Max Doyle started shooting Robyn, we quickly readjusted our preconceived notions of beauty. ‘She doesn’t actually look plus size to me at all now.’ I said to a colleague on set later that day, ‘And men like curves don’t they?’ He looked at me like I was an idiot. ‘Ah, yes Kirstie, we certainly do’ was his laconic reply. It’s an interesting conversation: the world of high fashion and fuller-figured women. One that needs to be continued.
Lawley is clearly a woman who is passionate about who she is and what she does.
I hope all the girls out there who are a natural size 12 - 16+ can follow Robyn Lawley’s lead and quit punishing themselves with gruelling diet regimes and excessive amount of exercise. Life is here to be enjoyed, so yes, be healthy! But also appreciate the body you have naturally! Beauty means different things to different people, and as a standard size 8 I am purely envious of Lawley’s sex kittenish curves and full-figured beauty.
H x
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I remember when I was doing Rent and I was too thin, and I was doing that on purpose because, I’m dying, I’m a HIV+ drug addict. I remember having to eat raw food and doing all this work to make sure I could stay thin… And I remember everyone asking me when I was doing press for the movie, “What did you do to get so thin? You looked great!” and I’m like, “I looked emaciated.”
It’s a form of violence in the way that we look at women and how we expect them to look and be, for… what’s sake? Not health, not survival, not enjoyment of life, but just so that you can look ‘pretty’.
I’m constantly telling girls all the time, “Everything’s airbrushed, everything’s retouched, to the point of just that it’s never even asked, and none of us look like that.Rosario Dawson -
Women don’t lose their minds when they have period-related irritability. It doesn’t lower their ability to reason; it lowers their patience and, hence, tolerance for bullshit. If an issue comes up a lot during “that time of the month,” that doesn’t mean she only cares about it once a month; it means she’s bothered by it all the time and lacks the capacity, once a month, to shove it down and bury it beneath six gulps of willful silence. Those are the things most worth paying attention to. (By both people involved.)
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Hey girls,
I’m going to be addressing bullying somewhat over the next few weeks, and will hopefully find a few moments to write more about it in that time.
There’s a common misconception, that bullying is a power-wielding tactic most often employed by teenagers and children. As a teenager, I remember wondering whether bullying was something brought on by the cliquey school environment, perhaps due to our hormones causing uncontrollable mood swings, or even the confusing effects of transitioning out of childhood and stepping onto the path of maturity.
Unfortunately, bullying doesn’t completely disappear. It merely evolves. For women; bullying goes from being schoolyard bound, and something that you can generally identify for what it is - to a labyrinth of underhanded sly, bitchy comments, back stabbing and manipulation.
The worst part of it is, that the older women get, the more clever at it they become. It’s a lot harder to pick up on. Most people seem to quickly lose the nerve they found after battling through high school and therefore are less willing to stand up for each other or even for themselves.
When I was 20 I was bullied out of my job. Now, I’m by no means timid, in fact, back then I was probably more firey then I am now. But I was travelling 2+ hours a day for this job, for a crappy wage, average conditions and zero flexibility. It was fashion retail, so there was definitely perks to the job, but I was fairly isolated there, and once the bullying became too much to ignore I verbalised my issues with the position and quit. I was very lucky in that I found a great job within just 3 days of handing in my notice.
The point is, as much as you might be tempted to stick your head in the sand and hide from the bullying and bitchiness around you now, it won’t ever completely go away. It probably won’t hurt as much as you get older, and it will be easier to ignore - but if you know how to deal with the worst of it now, the sneaky aftermath of adult cattiness won’t affect you nearly so much.
I’ll be delving more into this topic this weekend. All questions are welcome, and feedback and stories are appreciated!!
H x
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As an extremely avid reader, it seems almost impossible that I have up until recently, avoided the entire Happy Potter series. Initially, as Harry gained in popularity, I was pretentious enough to steer clear of the books primarily due to the rapidly broadening (and crazy) Potter fan base. Then, after a distasteful experience delving into the Twilight saga, I felt it was merely to save myself another giant, time wasting headache.
Cue; the special effects laden and action packed preview to the second instalment of the Deathly Hallows, and the final Happy Potter movie - filmed in 3D.
Curiously for someone who continuously has her nose buried in the pages of a book, I hold an affection for loud, impressive action scenes, generally found in so called “boys movies”. This preview to the latest HP movie sparked my curiousity for the rest of the movies, of which I had only caught a few of, in no particular semblance of order. Fortunately, my rough ‘n tumble, often foul mouthed younger brother is a HUGE fan. As we’ve just moved in together, and as he has a heart of gold, he sat through all 7 movies with me - filling me in on many of the juicy details explained in the books, which the film adaptions of course skip over.
Needless to say, I am hooked. Obsessed. I watched several of the movies dressed in a Harry Potter costume, waving my wand in excitement during the action scenes. I still feel Harry himself is a bit bland and ceaselessly irritating - but man, oh man; I love Ron and Hermione.
After much rambling, this brings me to the point of this post: Hermione aka Emma Watson, is fabulous. I don’t even feel a huge need to differentiate between the character and the actress. Both strong, wilful, intelligent, fierce, independent, loyal, brave and classy. I am vastly impressed with the character JK Rowling has created, and in so doing, likely helped to shape the woman Watson has become, after so long portraying Hermione on screen.
Intelligent, witty and blatantly honest quotes from Watson are sprawled all over the internet, all of which bring me immense joy!
“I might be willing to take my clothes off for a Bernardo Bertolucci film, if it was a part that really made sense as part of my character. But I wouldn’t do it just to make a point, to move on from Hermione.”
“I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing.”
“It sounds so geeky, but I really do like studying and reading and if I’m not working on Harry Potter, then my greatest relaxation is to sit with a book. That’s how I escape stress — in literature.”
“There are too many stupid girls in the media.”
“When I was 9 or 10, I would get really upset when they tried to make me look geeky, but now I absolutely love it. I find it’s so much pressure to be beautiful. Hermione doesn’t care what she looks like. She’s a complete tomboy.”
“I’m a bit of a feminist. I’m very competitive and challenging.”
“People can’t understand why I don’t want to be a full-time actress, but school life keeps me in touch with my friends. It keeps me in touch with reality.”
I just can’t rave enough about her. In today’s society, when Watson’s contemporaries, girls such as Taylor Momsen and Miley Cyrus, are cashing in on this overt and tacky, fabricated sexiness, here is a young woman with a brain and morals. And a terrific wardrobe.
This brainy fashionista is setting trends, as the face of Burberry and Lancome as well as gracing the cover of Vogue. However, while she clearly enjoys her high fashion, Watson has her feet firmly on the ground with predilection for knowledge and continued learning.
From plucky, talented young witch, to a style savvy, intellectual woman, Emma Waston is one to draw inspiration from!
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AMAZING healthy bodies! These women are so beautiful and look so happy and confident in their own skin.
By no means is this the only type of body a woman should have, just a fantastic example of the bodies many women could have, if they took better care of themselves and accepted their bodies natural shape.
Absolutely stunning.
H x
